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Are We Having Kids?
Have you ever been guilt-tripped for not having kids? What about not having enough kids?
"When are you going to give me grand babies?"
When it comes to having kids, let's face it, it's not something that most of us are into doing. If you look online, you'll likely find articles that mention that millennials are not having kids at the same rate of previous generations.
Some make accusations that unless we pick up the pace, millennials will cause a population decline and end the human race as we know it. Maybe that last part was a stretch, but you see what I mean.
Having kids is a personal decision and there's no right or wrong answer. On this edition, we will look at a poll from Reddit that asked millennials: Do you plan on having children?
Almost Half Want 0 Kids
Full disclosure, my wife and I are millennials and we have three kids. We had them all in our 20s, three within three years, actually. While I'm a parent, I'm going to be as unbiased as possible with this article.
Out of 2540 total votes, roughly 43% of millennials stated that they never want to have kids. That's a HUGE percentage. As many of us are in our late 20s to early 40s, I'd love to see a comparison of Gen X and Baby Boomers answer this from a similar time in their lives.
43%!
It Ain't Cheap!
And look, I get it. Kids are a lot of work and life is expensive. Many millennials decide not to or can't afford extra difficulty or the costs of supporting another human being in today's world.
To support raising children, it's often that both parents need to work. If both parents need to work, the kid(s) must go to some sort of childcare during workings hours. Childcare isn't cheap. Often, one parent's salary is slightly more than the cost of childcare. I could go on and on but kids are expensive.
Cramping Your Style
Kids are little human beings. Pretty obvious, huh? With them being little human beings, you have to care for them and love them. That takes up a large portion of your time meaning, you have less time to do what you want to do. Many millennials are not willing to put their own interests aside to raise/entertain another human. Again, there's nothing wrong with this!
As a dad, a had a hard time adjusting to this. As an only child, I was used to doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Not with kids, especially, babies.
If you want to have kids and also want to do your own thing, you need to make sacrifices. What works for me is waking up early and getting all of my "me" time before the rest of the house wakes up. I start my day on my own terms and it makes me feel good! That way when the kids are up, I can give them the time and attention they deserve.
Don't Know What You Want
Even in our 30s, many of us still don't know what we truly want in life. If we don't know what we want and are still trying to discover ourselves, how can we take care of a tiny human?
If you remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs from grade school...well if you don't here it is.
Many millennials are having a difficult time with the belongingness and esteem needs, so how can they be expected to fulfill the needs of another human? Not to say that you need to have life totally figured out to be a parent (my wife and I certainly don't) but having some idea/level of those needs fulfilled certainly helps.
In Summary
Millennials aren't having kids for a variety of reasons. Some of them for the three reasons we mentioned here and others for different reasons.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for having or not having kids. Actually, don't let anyone make you feel bad for any decision you make. As long as you are not hurting others or doing anything illegal, do whatever you want. We only get one life and you and I deserve to make it our best.
As always, the struggle is real, but you got this!